You Played WHAT?

            As a volunteer disc jockey at our local community college, I am free to choose whatever songs or arrangements I desire to play from the Blues genre for the Good Moanin’ Blues show. There are thousands upon thousands to select from our physical library as well as our online library. One would think that it would be easy to pick out tunes that are both fine examples and acceptable to put out over the airwaves.

            But all the choices affect me the same way that sample paint cards do. I walk into the store with a firm idea of what shade of what color I want, usually a blue. And then something happens as I stand bedazzled in front of the endless options of sample paint cards.

The hues are so enticing on the little cards lined up like a rainbow on steroids. My eyeballs overload with possibilities. My brain shorts out; there will be no paint purchase today. I grab a dozen cards and stuff them in my pocket, where they will stay until they are run through the wash cycle.

While I can delay indefinitely the choice of a paint color, I cannot indefinitely delay choosing songs for the four-hour Blues show on Saturday morning. I am grateful there is a standard convention for the first hour at least.

The expectation for the show is to start with an hour of acoustic music. At first, having hardly any musical knowledge, I thought this simply meant “old-timey.”  Upon further study, I learned that “acoustic music” meant “non-electric instruments.” Of course, there was a period of time, the early 1930’s, when the instruments were not electrified, but there was electric microphone amplification that gradually became more commonplace. That still counts as acoustic music. I must admit sometimes I have trouble determining if instruments are electrified, especially when the main instrument is a strong piano. I have accepted that sometimes I will get it wrong. My audience is forgiving of such mistakes.

Well, at least they don’t call to correct me.

I do the show every third week. The other DJ is a true Blues aficionado and really knows his stuff. He can rattle off the names of numerous artists and groups both acoustic and electric; he has his own CD library in the thousands. He can often remember the liner notes that accompany the disk.

He thinks, “I want to play some harmonica selections; this is the artist I want to play; this is the song I want to play, and here it is right on this disc in the case with the blue spine.” Not only that, but he will also think of another song to follow that connects with the vibe of the previous, resulting in a pleasing progression throughout a set.

He does not prepare a playlist. He will have a few selections in mind but choose things in the moment from his tan 1940’s suitcase of CDs that he totes to the studio. I like his little suitcase, to which I contributed a couple of John Lee Hooker stickers, and would emulate that, but it seems a bit over the top for someone who owns about a dozen CDs.

I, on the other hand, know very little about Blues music except that there’s much that appeals to me. I am told that I have a good ear, which is funny because neither of my ears work so well any more. But, as the saying goes, “I know what I like.”

Fortunately, there are aids for people like me. I used a search engine to ask for a “List of blues artists.” That took me to Wikipedia which produced such a list arranged into the “Prewar years,” “1940 – 1979,” and “Blues since 1980.” It further indicates which type of blues each artist plays. I particularly appreciate the help in choosing pre-war (acoustic) artists. Of course, there are also modern acoustic Blues artists.

Another wonderful resource is the radio station’s online library that enables me to choose and play music at home to determine what to include in my show. I type the name of an artist, and the program gives me a list of their albums, if there are any in the library, or maybe just one or two songs that have survived the years since the 1920’s and 1930’s as in the case of some acoustic music. I listen and pick the selections I like. It takes me two or three hours to choose an hour of music and arrange the songs.

We also note Blues birthdays and play a selection or three of that person’s repertoire and relate a few factoids about them. In my case, I relate them if I remember to pass on the results of my meager research. There’s a website that maintains a list of artists’ birthdays and deaths. Again, a search engine is a girl’s best friend.

The second through fourth hours can be a mix of any Blues genre, any Blues artist, anything from the current rotation (that’s the CDs that studios and artists send us, hoping for air time), and can be time for little indulgences like a group of songs about wayward men or women (depending on if a male or female wrote or performed the song), or songs about dogs or food or inspirational messages. I might play 20 minutes of Memphis Blues and then after a break switch to Chicago Blues. I try to weed out songs that are violent or misogynistic, although sometimes I’m surprised when I look up the lyrics. That “good ear” doesn’t readily interpret many vocalists.

Once a year I feature a women-artist-only show. I strive to have shows completely planned, but somehow the last hour is only ever roughly sketched. By then I’m tired of listening to songs and tired of trying to arrange them in a way that makes sense to me.

As a result, there is usually a period of time during a live show when I have to listen to a potentially playable song while a planned selection is going over the air. That can get confusing, listening to two songs at once.

There’s also a strict prohibition about playing songs with forbidden words. The Federal Communication Commission outlaws seven words, listed here for your edification: shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cocksucker, motherfucker, and tits. According to Pacifica Network website, Broadcasting Network for Grassroots Community Radio, Indecency, Obscenity, Profanity and the 7 Words Forbidden by the FCC - Pacifica Network, the law also prohibits

“‘language or material that, in context, depicts or describes, in terms patently offensive as measured by contemporary community standards for the broadcast medium, such as sexual or excretory activities and organs.”’

Further, the FCC “defines “obscenity” and “profanity” as “depicting or describing sexual conduct in a “patently offensive” way; and, taken as a whole, lacking in serious literary, artistic, political or scientific value.” Because the meaning of words or images is not always clear, and the definition of indecency encompasses innuendo and double-entendre, the Commission seeks to determine whether material: 1) has an “unmistakably” sexual or excretory meaning; 2) dwells on or repeats sexual or excretory matters at length; or 3) panders, titillates, or is used for shock value.

It is not necessary for material to satisfy all three factors to be considered indecent, so offenses are often decided in courts. Thus, language violations have serious and permanent consequences, requiring defense fees and possible FCC fines from $10,000 to $100,000 or more or grounds for the license to not be renewed. They can disable or close a community radio station.”

The thing about researching such matters is that one might learn something. I must not have been paying attention during my radio training - I just now, this minute, learned that innuendo and double-entendre are susceptible to punishment! Many Blues songs have suggestive lyrics and double-entendre; I think they are clever and fun.

I’ve got to run this by the station’s General Manager…I’m thinking that in the current political situation the FCC might well come down harder than history might suggest at such infractions and take the opportunity to shut down the voice of a community radio station.

I also take a bit of DJ prerogative to play any song with a variation of Susan/Suzie/Sue/Susie/Susie-Q/Susanna in the title. A minor vanity. A couple of Saturdays ago I cued up Black Eyed Susie from Blind Lemon Pledge’s new release. Didn’t preview it. I was half listening as I contemplated the next song. I did notice that the rhythm, tempo and volume increased during the song. I focused on it.

“Ok, ok, ok so far. Feeling like it might get a little questionable. But it’s near the end of the song, not far to go…oh, please don’t use ...” and BAM! There it was, that little four-letter word that begins with the letter F.

The Susie song had only one objectionable word. And, technically, it was a diminutive to the actual prohibited word. Maybe not so bad?

However, there was a station DJ who committed a stupendous faux pas. She shall remain anonymous; I wouldn’t want to embarrass her.

On that particular Saturday morning she was a bit behind, a bit frazzled. The Bay Shore Marathon was taking place on campus, and she had to park far away from the studio. Felt a little stressed but started to play the music.

She realized she needed another selection to round out the first hour.

She thought, “Who should I play now? I just need a two-and-a-half-minute song.”

She chose a female artist, Lucille Bogan from the 1930’s, because she had a two-and-a-half-minute song. She specifically thought, “I don’t have to worry about prohibited words, the song is so old, it’s a female vocalist, it won’t have any bad lyrics.” She didn’t notice the name of the song, focused on the duration of the song as she was, nor would she have understood its meaning if she had noticed it.

She pressed the button to start the song and immediately pulled the volume slide down so she could hear another selection she needed to preview. About a minute into the two-minute-thirty-four-second song, the phone rang.

“So nice to have someone call in!” she thought. She put the receiver next to her ear. Innocent. Expecting a request or a compliment.

“DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU’RE PLAYING? YOU ARE GOING TO GET US KICKED OFF THE AIR! AND PAY A FINE! AND I HAVE IT BLASTING ON THE CAMPUS SPEAKERS WHILE A THOUSAND PEOPLE ARE STANDING AROUND WAITING TO START THE RACE OR WAITING FOR SOMEONE TO SHOW UP. KIDS TOO!” an agitated man yelled.

Then there were some unintelligible words that I, er, I mean she, assumed to be deprecating.

Shaken, she hung up the phone and pushed the volume slide up to determine what caused the consternation. She looked at the monitor that recorded the information about the song. The title was “Shave ‘em Dry.” The phone immediately rang again. It was a different voice.

“Whee hoo! That’s a song to get the blood running in the morning! Might want to cut it short!”

Indeed, it was the end of a very sexually explicit song; cutting off the last few seconds was like scooping up a cup of water from a broken dam – the damage was done and the gesture impotent. She wanted to melt onto the floor of the empty studio and slither out, unseen. She felt as though everything was in slow motion, that starting another song was taking way too long though it was just a couple of seconds. THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE, INCLUDING KIDS, heard the song that could charitably be described as bawdy as it blared in the bright sunlight of a Saturday morning at a family-friendly event.

And then she had to call the General Manager and confess.

Fortunately, he is a rather stoic man.

“Well, that’s not good,” he said after she blathered on and on, relating the situation that led to playing such a song.

Later that day an email was sent to all DJs stressing the importance of preparing playlists ahead of time and previewing all selections.

The aforementioned DJ tries very hard to do so.